californicatinq:

you are lying to me if you said that you didnt sing this in your head

(Source: fyeahmovieclub, via ilovegnomes)

Things I Say While I'm Driving

  • Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
  • Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
  • Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
  • Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
  • Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
  • Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
  • Me: /dinosaur screams/

(Source: lilcaterpillar, via satankitty)

Anonymous said: One time i went to olive garden with my mom and she told me she was alcoholic and then the next time we went she told me that she was divorcing my dad

olivegarden:

pleatedjeans:

via

fake-mermaid:

intensional:

i left the house today to hang out with my friends and 3 of my family members just texted me saying “wow you left the house :o”

image

(via ilovegnomes)

(Source: unclefather, via smosh)

dutchster:

when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead

image

(via ilovegnomes)

allantruong:

embarrassing memories hitting u like

(Source: laughcentre, via thefuuuucomics)